PSNTT

You know, this game may have been only $5 US online, but after a few spins with it, I still feel somewhat ripped off. The game is touted as a remake of one of the best beat-em-ups of all time, and yet it feels so different from the original, that it feels more like a cheap imitation of the concept.

For starters, the catchy music from the original? All gone. The only thing somewhat resembling the original tracks are the first five notes of each stage tune, and then it goes into some pretty bland, easily forgettable mixes that range from mediocre to just plain horrid. Seriously, I got so pissed that not even ‘Pizza Power’, the very tune that defines this game, made it in this title. For those in the dark about what that song is, let me aid you:

By the way, for those of you who have seen this trailer below which shows a comparison between the two games, let me assure you. The music does NOT sound like that in the remake. All they did in the trailer was add stereo to the arcade version’s soundtrack and overlap it with the remake’s gameplay.

So, apparently, Ubisoft is a collective group of big fat LIARS. I mean, how shameful is it when your soundtrack is so awful that you actually have to deceive players by using the better version’s soundtrack?

Now, I’ve heard rumours that there’s an update that ‘improves the soundtrack’ so that it’s actually the one from the arcade, but I’ve yet to see it. Take note, this trailer was up since JULY, so I’m sticking to the whole ‘Ubisoft FIBS’ side of the story.

The voice acting is also painful to listen to. The turtles in the original game sound like they’ve having fun while kicking the Foot Clan’s ass. Here? They sound annoyed. Even classic lines like, “My toes! MY TOES!” don’t even sound funny.

The gameplay has also changed quite a bit. I’ll forgive the fully 3-d movement, because that’s something to be expected, and it’s a plus. But the attacks are now different, especially to those of you who played the SNES version. Special attacks are no longer instant kills, your turtles can’t cartwheel, and the 4th attack from each combo is gone. Also, the targeting system sucks. Try attacking with Raph up close and take a drink for each time he’ll blindly attack the air behind the target. Hoo-ray, you have alcohol poisoning.

The bosses are pretty brain dead as well. The strategy for damn near all of them is RUN LIKE HELL, chop, chop, RUN LIKE HELL. I’ll admit the bosses in the SNES were a cakewalk and the ones in the arcade were nail bitingly hard, but what the hell? These bosses are just a chore to beat. Not as in hard, but ‘chore’ as in ‘frigging tedious’. And that goes for the whole stage, too, because my GOD, it feels like you’re forced to go through each stage, rather than have fun with it.

Want to know the worst part, though?
This game….IS NOT BASED ON THE SNES VERSION.
Instead, it’s based on the arcade.

Sure, it doesn’t sound so bad in text, but think about what that means. For starters, a lot of the bosses are gone. No Bebop, no Rocksteady, no Rat King, no Slash (Boo!) and, worst of all, NO SUPER SHREDDER. Instead of those mainstays, you get….Cement Man. Remember him? He was the guy who….uh. *scratches head* Well, uhm. I think he appeared in that one episode and I, uh…..ah, screw it, I don’t know who he IS. Also, no Technodrome and no Mousers, either.

…are they sure this is a TMNT game?

Also, body slams and screen tosses are random, and shoulder charges don’t stun. And those were gameplay elements I loved from the SNES version, too.

By the way, for those of you who are wondering how Konami could have messed up their own game, I’ve got news for you. It’s UBISOFT who made this. Yeah, from the way I see it, they wanted to warm up the fans to the idea that they have the license now, so they did this game to really get them excited.

For a while, it worked. YAY UBISOFT.

…and then, we played it. WTF UBISOFT.

I think it’s safe to say that if this is the quality of the games we’d get from them, Mirage Studios should have simply renewed Konami’s contract. I mean, Rabbids are going to appear in the next game. Yes, the bunnies that kicked Rayman out of his own series.

I will, however, give props for the graphics. Updated, the game looks awesome, and I really like how improved the Prehistoric stage looks, and how the lighting appears in the sewer surfing level.

Personally, I don’t recommend this game for those who liked the SNES version, because you WILL be disappointed. Casual players might like the inane beat-em-up action for a little while. If you MUST have this game, it’s only 5 US bucks online in the PSN store.

Word of advice, make sure you have a friend to play with. It’s more tolerable that way.

FINAL SCORE: 2 OUT OF 5.

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